Divorce: A New Beginning

You stood there in your expensive dress, nervous, excited, beautiful. You were terrified, in the sweetest  of ways. You stood before your family, your friends, nobody. You looked into his eyes, you read the love he sent you. You cried, you smiled, you promised with your whole heart. You said the words, you meant them and sealed them with the most meaningful kiss you ever gave. But things didn't turn out the way you thought they would all these days, months, years later. You made promises to change. You sacrificed the pieces of yourself you had sworn to keep. You ruined friendships. You lost your stability. You broke down and asked for help. You cried in front of strangers. You felt your world crumble in the most destructive and lonely way you ever thought possible. What now?

We all are here together, in the same heartbreak, though the details will differ in subtle degrees. We all hurt, are ashamed, angry and are trying our hardest to keep what fragments he left on his way out together. No, we never said "I Do" thinking that we would be in the majority, another statistic tacked on with everyone else and their losses. We were different, our relationship was stronger. Wasn't it? In the end, it really doesn't matter. You are here.

In the beginning of what turned into my divorce, I sought advice. I looked everywhere, but quite honestly I was shocked at how generic every article I read was. Yes, I know. There's not a lot of ways to get creative or fun with the idea of divorce. Unfortunately, I found nothing to rely on to give me hope because none of the advice I read made me feel any less alone. With the scorn in our culture, it's nearly impossible not to blame yourself. Real feelings will present themselves, and they have. So what is to be done now? Here, I aim to address the process of rebuilding. To bring light to the fact and encourage others that this is not the end. This is an opportunity of strength, determination and finding yourself. This heartbreak is not in your life now to not be taken advantage of. Take back those pieces of yourself you lost, and don't feel guilty. Take up that hobby you wanted to, but you never got around to because your other half took up the time fighting you that you would have much rather invested in yourself. Revisit your personal dreams. Remember that you are strong. You are worth the fight. Yes, there is work to be done, bills to pay and healing to do. But this loss does not mean you have reached an end. This, instead is the chance you needed. This means you get all you ever wanted. Take a deep breath. This is freedom.